2012년 3월 18일 일요일

Some Dangers of Going to the Beach

 Going to the beach is enjoyable but somtimes, it can be dangerous. If you don't do stretching before getting in to the water, you can hurt and even die by being paralyzed. Also, you can face deep area suddenly. Another danger is living thihgs in the beach. You can meet a jellyfish, and rarely even a shark.
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  1. great12012년 3월 20일 오전 5:37

    Ahn dasom
    I met a jellyfish when i was little girl
    I touched it and felt ??? odd --
    also I met many kinds of sea living things in the sea
    I like soft sand on the beach
    It feels delicate , cozy , itchy

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  2. Prof. Trey2012년 3월 20일 오전 6:45

    This is good. Your topic sentence is good and tells your readers that you will explain why going to the beach can be dangerous. The only thing you are missing is a concluding sentence. For example: "To be safe at the beach, you should stretch and be cautious about deep areas and sea creatures."

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